It Does Get Easier, Mamas

Let me establish that while the following was written for moms, I also mean all women, all caregivers, because often we all experience struggles that stem from the same place.

It has been my experience that MOST of the time, when a mother is simply being honest about how hard early motherhood can often be, the most common responses (from moms and non-moms alike), are something like:

"But, you are going to miss this so much!"

"Cherish it while you can."

"It doesn't get any easier either."

"The bigger they get, they bigger the problems."

First of all, Thanks but no thanks Karen. I don't know if you noticed, but that is not very helpful right now, in this stage that feels very much like I am literally chained to smaller humans. While there are moments of pure bliss, there are also moments when all I can think of is one day emerging from this phase. Your gaslighting my experience and redirecting the conversation to how grateful I should be (and therefore insinuating I am somehow not appreciating this time) is NOT helping, lady. It is however succeeding at making me wonder if there is something wrong with me because of how hard this feels.

Unpopular opinion.

It DOES get easier.

And it has NOTHING to do with how long you've been a mom, and how old you're kids are.

It gets easier for the mother who is conscious and intentional about prioritizing her mental and emotional wellness. Life and mothering will always feel hard if you feel like shit all the time. Whether that is due to anxiety, stress, overwhelm, lack of down time, lack of support, depression, chronic pain, unresolved trauma, resentment, anger, strained relationships, if you're not able to prioritize self care as a means to self-regulate in order to move through and grow from your challenges, if you're settling for the circumstances that are unsatisfactory, if you're repeating unproductive patterns that are not serving you - things will always get harder, for parents and non parents alike.

But, it DOES get easier when you're committed to working on yourself, since You are the Manager of your own wellness.