Dare to Be Misunderstood: Letting Go of People-Pleasing Through Creative Expression

I want to gently (and a little playfully) invite you into something radical: Find your weird.

Not the curated “quirky” kind that’s secretly still trying to be liked — but the real, raw, uniquely-you flavor that may not fit into anyone else's boxes.

What would life feel like if “normal” wasn’t something you had to chase? What if “put together” or “manageable” weren’t the goal at all?

So many of us — especially women — have spent years (lifetimes?) contorting ourselves to be digestible, likable, and non-threatening. We’ve traded in our wild, sacred, unrepeatable essence for safety. For being accepted. For not rocking the boat. And that need to be “pleasing” seeps into everything: the way we show up in relationships, the work we choose, even how we express ourselves creatively (or more often, don’t).

But here’s a truth worth sitting with: Your authenticity will never feel safe in spaces that demand your performance.

In The Myth of Normal, Dr. Gabor Maté writes, “When the cost of being yourself is too high, you learn to adapt — not by choice, but by survival.”

Let that sink in. Because when we people-please, we aren’t doing it for fun. It’s survival programming. But survival is not the same as living. And that’s where creativity comes in.

Creativity is one of the most direct portals back to our true selves. Not the self who’s constantly scanning for approval, but the one who lives in the body, in the now, in flow. Engaging in art — whether it’s painting, collage, journaling, dancing, or even building a vision board — can quiet the noise of others’ expectations and attune us to what we actually feel and want.

And the science backs this up:

🧠 Physiologically, creative expression activates the parasympathetic nervous system — the “rest and digest” state — reducing cortisol levels and calming the stress response.

💞 Mentally, creativity has been shown to improve mood, build emotional resilience, and even boost immune function. It helps us process experiences and emotions that often can’t be put into words.

🎨 Spiritually, it reconnects us with purpose and play — two things people-pleasing often robs us of.

So this week, I encourage you to play. Not with pressure, not to produce something Instagram-worthy, but as an act of reclamation. A devotion to your essence.

Start with some simple journaling:

• What would life look like if you were truly living from your core values and passions?

• What desires feel “off limits” because they don't fit the version of you others expect?

• What would it mean to live based on your own “full body yes”?

Then, make something from that vision. Something tangible. Something you can hold and return to. Let your intuition guide your medium — maybe it's watercolor, collage, mixed media, or a simple collection of images and words on paper. Let your inner child pick out colors at the dollar store or play with old supplies you already have. Let it be messy. Let it be imperfect. Let it be you.

This is not about being a “good artist.” There’s no such thing. This is about being a real human. A feeling human. A whole human.

And in case you need permission: It’s okay to be misunderstood.

Because your life — like art — is not meant to be decoded by others. It’s meant to be lived by you.